Grief Support & Resources: Coping with Loss and Finding Healing

Grief is a natural and deeply personal response to loss that affects everyone differently. This comprehensive guide provides compassionate support and practical resources for understanding the grief process, finding professional help, and connecting with others who understand your experience.

You’ll discover various types of grief support from counseling and support groups to online communities and helpful books and podcasts. We also cover strategies for supporting grieving children, healthy coping mechanisms, and meaningful ways to memorialize your loved one, all designed to help you navigate your unique grief journey with care and understanding.

Our objective is to provide empathetic support and direct you to invaluable resources designed for coping with loss and fostering healing. The ultimate goal is to empower individuals and families as they navigate their distinct grief journeys.

Understanding How Grief Actually Works

Grief isn’t just about death—it happens with any significant loss, like the end of a relationship, losing a job, or major life changes. Understanding what grief looks like can help you realize that what you’re feeling is normal, even when it feels overwhelming.

You’ve probably heard about the “five stages of grief”—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these can be helpful to know about, grief doesn’t actually work like a checklist. You might experience these feelings in a different order, skip some entirely, or cycle back through them multiple times. That’s completely normal.

Research shows grief comes in waves rather than following a straight line. Some days feel manageable, others knock you down completely. The intensity often lessens over time, but strong feelings can pop up unexpectedly—triggered by a song, a smell, or an anniversary.

Dr. Lois Tonkin’s “growing around grief” model offers a different way to think about healing. Instead of grief shrinking over time, you grow your life around it. New experiences, relationships, and joy can coexist with your grief. This means healing isn’t about getting over your loss—it’s about learning to integrate it into your life story.

For more detailed information about this process, read our guide on understanding the stages of grief.

What Grief Feels Like in Your Body and Mind

Grief affects every part of you—your emotions, body, thoughts, and relationships. Knowing what to expect can help you understand that these reactions are part of the normal grieving process.

Remember reactions are highly individual and grief manifest in different ways. Give yourself time and empathy as your dealing with these though times in your life.

Recognizing Prolonged or Complicated Grief

While grief is natural, about 10% of people experience complicated grief that significantly disrupts daily life for an extended period. This might include intense yearning, feeling like life is unbearable, persistent preoccupation with the deceased, or actively avoiding reminders of the loss. If these symptoms persist and interfere with your ability to function, professional help can make a real difference.

Symptoms of prolonged grief can include:

• Intense yearning or longing for the deceased.
• A pervasive feeling that life is unbearable.
• Persistent preoccupation with the lost individual.
• Difficulty accepting the death.
• Intrusive and disturbing images related to the loss.
• Profound sense of hopelessness, or a wish to die to reunite with the deceased.
• Actively avoiding reminders of the death

Healthy Ways to Cope with Loss

Taking care of yourself during grief isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Engaging in healthy coping mechanisms helps you process emotions while maintaining some daily functioning. Self-care is vital during grieving, requiring ample time and acceptance of support.

Prioritizing Self-Care and Well-being

Start with the basics: try to keep a simple routine with consistent sleep times and regular meals. Stay physically active, even if it’s just short walks. Limit alcohol, which can worsen depression, and focus on nourishing foods. Don’t hesitate to visit your doctor to discuss how grief is affecting you physically.

Set aside specific “grief time” each day—maybe 20-30 minutes where you consciously allow yourself to feel everything. This helps you process emotions rather than being overwhelmed by them throughout the day. During this time, cry, look at photos, write in a journal, or just sit with your feelings.

Express your emotions through talking with trusted friends or family, writing, or creative activities like painting, crafting, or music. Physical activity like walking or yoga helps release tension and improve mood. Mindfulness and deep breathing can calm your mind when emotions feel too intense.

Don’t isolate yourself completely. Accept invitations when you can, even if you don’t feel like it. Social connection combats loneliness, though it’s okay to limit how much you take on.

Find healthy ways to remember your loved one—look at photos, watch videos, create memory boxes, plant something in their honor, or volunteer for a cause they cared about. Keep a gratitude journal to help you notice positive moments, and consider doing random acts of kindness, which can provide a sense of purpose.

Navigating Major Life Decisions While Grieving

Avoid making major life decisions like changing jobs or moving during your first year of grief if possible. Your judgment might be affected, and you need time to process before making big changes. If a decision is unavoidable, weigh positives and negatives thoroughly and consider all consequences.

For more strategies tailored to your situation, check out our guide on self-care strategies for grieving individuals.

Finding Professional Help Through Grief Counseling

You are not alone in your grief.

Grief counseling provides a safe space to process complex emotions with someone trained to understand loss. It’s not about “getting over” your grief—it’s about learning to live with it in a healthy way.

A grief counselor can help you understand what you’re experiencing, develop better coping strategies, work through guilt or anger, and find ways to honor your loved one while rebuilding your life. They use techniques like journaling exercises, mindfulness practices, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help you process your emotions.

Benefits include:

You can choose individual counseling for one-on-one support, group therapy to connect with others who understand, or specialized therapy if you’re dealing with complicated grief or depression alongside your loss.

Professional support doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken—it means you’re taking care of yourself during one of life’s most difficult experiences. Many people find that counseling helps them grow through their grief rather than just survive it.

To learn more about when counseling might help and how to find the right therapist, read our article on finding professional grief counseling and therapy.

The Power of Support Groups and Community

Support groups bring together people who’ve experienced similar losses, providing understanding that friends and family—however well-meaning—might not be able to offer. There’s something powerful about being with others who truly get what you’re going through.

In support groups, you can express feelings without judgment, learn from others who are further along in their grief journey, and discover you’re not alone in your reactions. The collective experience helps normalize grief and reduces feelings of isolation or self-doubt.

To find support groups:

• Local hospices often offer free or sliding-scale grief support groups and can provide referrals to other resources.
• Specialized organizations like The Compassionate Friends serve bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents, while the National Widowers Organization focuses on those who’ve lost spouses.
• Local doctor’s offices, hospitals, libraries, and community organizations host in-person groups.
• Dialing 2-1-1 connects you with immediate information about local resources in your area..

Online communities offer another option, especially if you live in a rural area or prefer anonymity initially. Platforms like Grieving.com, and MISSFoundation.org provide forums where thousands of people share their experiences and support each other.

These online spaces overcome geographical barriers and allow you to connect with others at any time of day or night. Many people find them less intimidating than in-person groups when they’re first seeking support.

For help finding the right group for your situation, visit our guide on grief support groups and online forums.

Books, Podcasts, and Online Resources for Healing

Sometimes you need to process grief privately through reading, listening, or exploring online resources. There’s a wealth of material created by experts and others who’ve walked this path.

For general grief support, consider books like “It’s OK That You’re Not OK” by Megan Devine, which validates that grief doesn’t follow neat timelines, or “How We Grieve: Relearning The World” by Thomas Attig, which explores how loss changes our entire worldview.

If you’ve lost a parent, “Always Too Soon” by Allison Gilbert or “Finding Your Way after Your Parent Dies” by Richard Gilbert offer specific guidance for adult children navigating this loss. For mothers who’ve died, “Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman provides insight into this unique grief experience.

Podcasts offer another way to connect with grief support. “What’s Your Grief Podcast” covers practical topics, “Grief Out Loud” from The Dougy Center focuses on real conversations about loss, and “Terrible Thanks for Asking” with Nora McInerny combines grief with honest storytelling about difficult life experiences. You can also listen to the Funeral Home Listings Podcast grief series on Spotify.

Articles from reputable sources like McLean Hospital on “Impact of Grief on Your Mental Health” or HelpGuide.org’s “Coping with Grief and Loss” provide evidence-based information you can trust.

Many funeral homes also offer continued bereavement care beyond the service, including support groups, remembrance events, educational materials, and referrals to other grief organizations.

Find a curated list of resources in our comprehensive guide to finding comfort in grief through books, podcasts, and online communities.

Supporting Children and Teens Through Grief

Children process grief differently than adults, often using play, creative activities, and physical movement to express emotions they can’t put into words. Supporting them requires age-appropriate approaches and lots of patience.

Tailored Support and Communication Strategies for Children by Age Group

• Honesty and Clear Language: Be honest and use clear, simple language when talking about death. Avoid euphemisms like “gone away” or “sleeping” that can confuse young children about what death means. Use direct words like “death,” “dying,” and “dead” with explanations they can understand.
• Encourage Questions: Encourage questions and promise honest answers. It’s okay to admit you don’t know something or to say you’ll talk about it later, but always follow up. Be patient with changes in behavior, eating, or sleep patterns, and allow flexibility in routines.
• Flexibility and Patience: Be patient with changes in behavior, eating, or sleep. Allow flexibility in routines, recognizing grief may intensify at times like bedtime.

Creative Expression Activities

• Self-Expression: Help children express themselves through “heart notes” where they write or draw feelings, feeling templates they can fill in, or a special mailbox for questions they think of later. 
• Grounding Techniques: Practice deep breathing (with aids like pinwheels), engage senses (5-4-3-2-1 exercise), play A-Z games, mirroring activities, or use finger labyrinths.
• Movement Activities: Physical activities help kids process big emotions—Dance to a family playlist, throw soft objects at a wall, stomp on bubble wrap, or rip up paper (after writing angry thoughts).
• Memory Making & Keepsakes: Create memory-making activities that help them feel connected to their loved one. Make small photo books, allow comfort items like special pillows or toys, create crafts with fingerprints or hair, plant trees or flowers together, or make memory boxes with special items.

Several organizations specialize in children’s grief support. The National Alliance For Children’s Grief provides comprehensive information and helps you find local programs. Rainbows for All Children offers peer support groups. The Dougy Center and Ele’s Place provide both direct services and resources for families.

For detailed age-specific guidance, read our article on supporting grieving children and teenagers.

Navigating Holidays and Special Occasions

Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions can be particularly challenging when you’re grieving. These days that used to bring joy now highlight your loved one’s absence.

It’s okay to change traditions or skip events entirely if that’s what you need. You might create new ways to honor your loved one during these times—lighting candles, making their favorite food, or sharing stories about them.

Let friends and family know what kind of support you need. Some people want to talk about their loved one during gatherings; others prefer not to focus on the loss. Both approaches are valid.

Plan ahead for difficult days but be flexible. You might think you want to be alone but then crave company, or vice versa. Having a support person you can call helps you adjust your plans as needed.

For specific strategies for getting through these challenging times, visit our guide on coping with grief on holidays, anniversaries, and special occasions.

Guidance for Family and Friends Supporting a Grieving Loved One

Supporting a grieving loved one requires empathy, patience, and practical engagement.

• Be Present and Available: Attend funerals, memorial services, or other significant events to show support.
• Reach Out and Continue Reaching Out: Don’t avoid the topic or fear saying the “wrong” thing. Phone calls, cards, emails, or texts are meaningful. The most important message is they are not alone. Continue checking in weeks, months, and years later; birthdays, anniversaries, and the death anniversary are challenging times.
• Listen Without Judgment: Encourage talking about the loved one and feelings. Listen actively without interrupting, accept feelings, and allow crying.
• Invite to Activities: Invite them to activities they normally enjoy. Even if they decline, continued invitations show care and provide opportunities for connection.
• Remember the Deceased: Use the loved one’s name and reminisce about shared memories. This validates their experience and keeps memory alive.
• Offer Practical Help: Offer tangible assistance, like accompanying to appointments (doctor, lawyer, bank) or helping with tasks like thank-you notes.

Creating Lasting Memorials Beyond the Funeral

After the funeral service ends, many families want ongoing ways to honor and remember their loved one. Meaningful memorialization can provide comfort and help keep their memory alive.

Consider creating memory gardens with their favorite plants, establishing scholarship funds for causes they cared about, or making photo books that tell their life story. Some families create online memorial pages where friends and family can continue sharing memories and photos.

Other options include commissioning custom artwork, creating memorial jewelry with their ashes or fingerprints, or organizing annual gatherings in their honor. The key is choosing something that feels right for your family and reflects who your loved one was.

These memorial activities can also become part of your healing process, giving you positive ways to channel your love and grief into something meaningful.

Explore creative memorial ideas in our guide to meaningful memorialization ideas beyond the funeral service.

Grief support and resources are available to help you through this difficult journey. Whether you need professional counseling, peer support groups, educational materials, or just someone who understands, you don’t have to navigate grief alone. Remember that healing isn’t about forgetting or “getting over” your loss—it’s about learning to live with your grief in healthy ways while honoring your loved one’s memory. Take advantage of the many resources available, and be patient with yourself as you find what works best for your unique situation.

If you’re dealing with the immediate aftermath of a loss, you might also find our guides helpful on what to do immediately after a death occurs and planning a funeral service.